It is natural to worry but it is unnatural to be obsessive about it. And the line between healthy worrying and being obsessed by the negative worry is so thin that sometimes we cross the line and are not even aware of it. It is an acknowledged fact that women worry far more than men. We worry about our own selves, we worry about the people we love – their security and well-being – and we worry about things well beyond our control. Some of us worry so much that it takes over our lives and we tend to then live surrounded by fear of what can go wrong.

Each decade has its own concerns. When society was more tight and secure, even then temptations made difficult encounters possible but in today’s intolerant world with explosions of ideas leading to confrontations it is not easy to sit back comfortably. Even Mother Nature plays its tricks.

It is natural to worry when there is an actual disaster – natural or manmade – and your loved ones suffer due to it.

Learn to worry less: Our thoughts can be changed if we are aware of them. Awareness comes with confronting our fears and, once we know what we are afraid of, we can learn to understand and worry less. It does sound simpler than it is in reality but with a little effort and planning anybody can achieve this lesson to perfection.

Most of us begin our lives without a worry in the world. We cry and we are fed, we ask and it is given – and then we grow up and reality kicks in. We realize that some things are not within our reach and this makes us insecure. We begin to worry that we might lose what we have and that insecurity makes us worry even more. We worry about things we are not able to control and it just makes us weaker but by now worrying has become a part of our personalities.

Just as we learn to worry, we can learn to worry less – albeit with a little more effort. The first step to worrying less is to list what we worry about and if we make this list every morning we can begin to delete things we are unable to control. So, then we worry about factors that we wish to change and we can plan on how to change them.

Channelize your worries: Worrying unnecessarily is surely not rewarding in a positive way but if you channelize your worries, you can come up with unusual options that give you positive results.

Remember the good times: A simple trick could be to tell yourself, “Now is not the time to worry!”  Our minds can be trained and fooled. Remember the Aamir Khan character in the blockbuster movie 3 Idiots? You can tell your heart that all is well, and your heart will believe it if you train it to believe that. Once the irrational fear is somewhat calmed you can remember the good times and the worry will recede into the background. Try it.

Understand your concerns: As a woman, you function at many levels and are expected to excel at them all. Family and their health is your concern; relationship with your colleagues, in-laws, spouse and children is your issue; money and how it is being saved for a rainy day. Professor Kershof says in his book, “Worrying is a form of self-torture and has the power to make us suffer.” And it is a fact that worrying unnecessarily will tire us physically and emotionally. Chronic worrying needs to be restrained by constant attitude changes. Only by training one’s thoughts in a positive direction can anybody stop worrying incessantly.

Here are some suggestions to help you worry less:

• Identify and list your worries on a daily basis. Keep a ‘My Worry Diary’.
• Try to find the reason why any one issue worries you.
• See if you can do anything to stop that worry by doing something.
• Don’t feel guilty about worrying. It is a natural phenomenon to worry if it is under control and does not begin to dictate your life.
• Allow yourself a limited timeslot to worry rather than worry about everything all the time.
• Point out to yourself the experience of your life that makes you worry about any particular aspect.
• Learn to differentiate between useless worrying and creative worry that can be beneficial.
• If you are unable to cope with your worrying, consult a qualified practitioner who will guide you to worry less and enjoy life more.
• Only a professional can help you identify if your worrying nature comes from a deeper sense of insecurity and a feeling that anything going wrong around you reflects on you.