When your child graduates from sitting to crawling, crawling to walking and henceforth, you get excited. This is a natural growing-up process. But if your five year- old daughter suddenly begins to show interest in wearing make-up or your 10-year-old girl wants to put on padded bras, or she gyrates to lyrics like Baby Iʼm your slave, Whip me if I misbehave, a popular Justin Timberlake number, its a reason to worry.

We hear of such stories all the time and, unfortunately, the trend of children growing up too fast is catching on like wildfire. And, if you as a parent don’t stop this, the world will turn into a frightening space for children, says television psychologist Dr Linda Papadopoulos who describes it as a world with young girls wearing high-heels and dressing up with clothing that have Playboy motifs. A world where children are nothing more than sexual objects.

Sexualisation of children: Diane E. Levin and Jean Kilbourne, coauthors of the book So Sexy So Soon, write that when children are sexualized their values come from their sex appeal. According to the report by the APA Task Force on the sexualisation of girls, which is also mentioned in their book, this sort of sexualisation of children leads to young teens developing images of themselves as sexual beings.

During a performance on X Factor, Rihanna and Christina Aguilera’s dance moves prompted the British Prime Minister, David Cameron, to want to put an end to the increasing sexualisation of children after 4,500 public complaints were registered. In India the content on many television shows are as inappropriate for child viewing. Dance competitions have eight-year-olds sway to the raunchy numbers of Munni and Sheila.

With preteens dancing and singing to overtly sexual music and lyrics, as parents you might wonder how and where to put a stop to all this sexualisation. But, before you disconnect your television connection, block the Internet sites and begin to spy on your child, find out if you as a parent are not responsible for hurrying up your child’s childhood. As a parent you too could be unknowingly cutting short your child’s innocence.

The problem parents face: Experts have coined a term “pester pressure” which every parent faces when their child throws tantrums. Ask yourself, do you buckle under this pressure and allow your child privileges that are inappropriate for their age and are meant for older children? Is your liberal parenting more lenient than it should be? When you say “no” to your child, how often do you stick with it?

Parents can also rush their child’s childhood by exposing children to activities that are less fun and more work. For instance, do you enroll your child in activity classes and camps like science and computer camps to enhance their knowledge and contribute to their future resume’s instead of just allowing them to have fun? Do you entrust a role or responsibility upon your child that will contribute to his or her growing up faster? Do you keep insisting that your child behave in a mature manner?

Parental responsibility: According to an article that appeared online, a new study put the onus on parenting trend for the growing sexualisation amongst children. The report suggested that this was a result of parental ignorance and encouragement. The researchers blamed a number of parents who provided children with violent video games and played it with them, as one reason.

Sometimes, itʼs important to allow children to be children. Let them make mistakes and learn from their mistakes. Parents must not expect the child to be perfect and know everything. Children already know much more than they should. The over-informed child runs a high risk of losing his or her innocence.

Teens aged between eight and 10 years get their information from a variety of sources, all uncensored. As parents become busy in their work, parental control slackens and that’s when peer control strengthens. Most children at this age are inquisitive and readily available information sources like media, magazines and the Internet quench their natural thirst. These being unsolicited facts are more damaging to children who are known to experiment.

The only way this adulterated information can be made unavailable is by constant vigil, no matter what your preoccupation is. Another way is to open the doors for communication with your child. Children seek answers and as water they will flow towards where they find these answers. If you find it difficult to speak to your child about sex, puberty, sexually transmitted diseases, peer pressure, alcohol, etc., seek counseling at organizations and attend workshops which impart free information on how to talk to children on tough issues.

When your child comes to you with a query do not ridicule them, make them feel guilty or perverts for asking about sex. Instead, if children are made to feel that itʼs the natural thing to do, to ask parents about their doubts, there are more chances that children will come to you than go to misleading sources.

Age restrictions have a reason: According to the Advertising Association Facebook, it has 988,000 under-age users who are below 12 years of age in Britain alone. What is most disturbing is that parents allow children to hide their ages and use Facebook. Allowing children to hide their age and sign up on social networking sites, wear provocative clothing and listen to music regularly that’s sexually oriented might not seem a big deal for today’s parents.

You must remember that all these liberties increase the number of preteen sex, child drugs cases, drinking and sexually transmitted diseases amongst teens. Not long back live-in was unheard of in our culture. Today, fewer eyebrows are raised on this. Likewise today, if you permit your child freedoms that belie their age, don’t be surprised at what follows!

Is your child growing up too fast?

Itʼs disturbing to observe how soon children are growing up. Children more often than not express dissatisfaction with their bodies. To them looking desirable and fitting into social circles is more important than character, morals and values. These children often lack a sense of self-worth and have a low self-esteem. To find out if your child is growing up too fast, ask yourself these questions:

• Are the books your child reads appropriate for his or her age?
• Does your child still ask childlike questions or has he or she lost the childish sense of wonder?
• Does your child dress like an older child or imitate them?
• Is your child interested in material that is meant for older kids?
• Is your child very impatient and often complains of boredom?
• Has your child lost interest in toys?
• Are your child’s friends older than them?

Guide your child: Childhood is a fairly short period which makes it all the more precious. Itʼs important that your child remains innocent and enjoys, learns and develops naturally. Here are some ways in which you can save your child’s innocence:

Teen magazines are loaded with emphasis on fashion, clothes, celebrities, sex and make-up and ways to seduce the opposite sex. A picture of celebrities in suggestive poses puts only one message across.

So do adult materials on television shows. Children are too emotionally immature for all this and this must be censored.

• Watch TV along with your children to see what they are learning. Listen to their music and don’t hesitate to stop them if required.
• Gaming is another source from where children gain access to sexual content. Disallow any game that you feel is inappropriate.
• The other source of information is the Internet. Set them a specific computer time for browsing and make sure the computer is in your view.
• Schoolteachers and counselors will be able to give you a reliable picture of your child’s ways and if there is any reason for concern.
• Get to know your children’s friends and their parents to understand if they are in the right company.
• You need to take part more proactively in your children’s growing up. Give them books that have positive messages so that they are able to combat peer and societal pressures which force them to indulge in sexualisation.
• Children often become obsessed with their body images. Help them find mentors and role models who put forth a positive body image rather than sexual appeal.
• Supervise their shopping and sternly disallow any clothes which may appear to you as provocative.
• Educate yourself on how to speak to children on sex and related topics before you sit with them for the discussion.

Growing up is fun when its healthy and supervised. Ensure your children enjoy their growing-up years and don’t get trapped in the vicious sexualisation of children happening all around.