The Art of Moving On
With bloated egos, a self-centric approach coming to the fore, the virtues of accepting your mistakes and taking responsibility for your deeds becoming obsolete, and bitterness, deceit and lies hidden under the layers of compassion, the times and charms of a long-lasting friendship have lost their meaning and “market”. The world today is changing, dynamism is the way of life, relationships have acquired new directions and the equations of trust and consideration have sort of vanished from society.
In these newly invented ‘unbalanced’ equations, there is no place for a trustworthy friend on whom you can fall back in the times of pain and suffering. With the booming Internet and social networking industry, communication and exposure are on a new high. As a consequence, every individual has more than ‘many’ options to ‘have fun’, ‘hang out’, ‘make pals’ and move on. The age-old concept of ‘you enjoy with friends’ has certainly changed to ‘with whom you enjoy become your friends’. Though this change is not all that bad, it certainly shows that the growing side of our social structure, as well as an individual’s emotional quotient is on the rise. But at the same time it has given a thumbs-down to the ‘beauty of being buddies’.
It’s natural to feel cheated, insulted and betrayed for those who still hold on to the ‘buddies forever’ concept in this brutally changing social structure. Many of you must have invested a great amount of time, emotions, and affection in that so-called “best buddy”. And suddenly to see him or her forget those selfless and sacrificing gestures is not an easy task to take on. But the solution is simple and stern, though not that easy to implement. No doubt, all simple things are easy to preach but difficult to practice. So just make yourself believe that there is no other way but to accept the reality, and apply the ‘forgive and forget’ policy.
But hang on for a while; make sure that the forgetting part is accompanied by learning. Make sure you learn to maintain your emotional levels at just moderate frequency – that is to be emotionally attached to people and places only to such an extent that you can easily detach yourself if things don’t stay the same in years to come. Learn to not have expectations, learn to not be dependent on anyone, learn to not give the right to someone to hurt you, learn to be the way the world is. After all, for how long can you sit and cry over a friendship gone wrong. Who would permit you the time to hate yourself for showing your trust in the wrong person? And why should you question yourself for someone else’s fault, anything?
A friend who could not be there when you needed him or her the most, a pal who despite his or her presence could not hold your hand when you lost track, a mate who betrayed you for someone else, is just not worth your time and love. He or she is just not worth so much regret and repentance. Just gather the guts and do what he or she did to you – MOVE ON.
It might not be as easy as it sounds, there will definitely be initial hiccups. As they say, memories make a lifetime, but only the pleasant ones. So just amputate those ugly memories that depress you every moment. Gather the courage and take your first step towards moving on.
Having done that, you have already won half the battle. And for the remaining half try and follow some of these suggestions:
Go out and explore: Moving out will definitely help you to move on. Go out, the world is beautiful, the places are innumerable, choose your destination, and give your senses a feel of what they require, that is change. Change from the monotony of everyday routine.
Give time to yourself and your interests: We always find time for everything and everyone, but at times it becomes indispensable that you find time for yourself. Do what you like, do something that helps you shake off all your tensions and mundane problems. Follow your heart, follow your interests. Sing, dance, paint, travel, work out, write, party, do everything and anything that makes you smile.
Interact: There’s no better way than socializing to forget your worries and divert your mind. It could initially be difficult to connect with people, especially if you are an introvert, but not impossible. It may take some time to break the ice but eventually you would feel detached from all your problems once you talk and keep yourself engrossed in the company of someone. Be it at your workplace, be it the mode of travel, be it the public library, be it your gymnasium, just talk and interact with people around.
Spend time with family: The whole world may turn their backs on you but it’s your parents, children and siblings who would always make you feel special, loved and cared for. Family can have a healing effect when you are down and out. Try and spend as much time as possible with your family, they will surely help you move on.
The rule is simple: “Someone would walk in when someone walks out” or, if you see it from the other person’s perspective, “Someone has to walk out when someone walks in.” The choice is yours, about how you take this. See it positively, see it as more than a routine affair see it with emotional strength and hope, and you would retain your smile forever.
Just a word of caution, Do everything but don’t repeat something that gives the need to read this article again. Just make sure you don’t give over-importance to any of your future friends. It’s equally your fault as it was his or her in hurting you. Whether you give this right to someone or not lies completely with you.