Five Things Never To Say in a Fight
Every one of us will be having some unforgettable experiences of words that we wish we hadn’t uttered in a fight. We surely have come across arguments that have continued for hours or even days together, just because we said something that wasn’t apt. While in a fight, it is better not to say out certain things in order to keep your relationship up.
“I told you so!”
This statement gives a direct accusation effect which makes your partner aware of his or her weaknesses and faults. Bringing up your partner’s weaknesses and faults can mar your relationship with him or her. Trying to show off your superiority over your partner may generate disastrous effects. Over time, your partner may develop a feeling of insecurity and hostility, which may in the long run make m or her emotionally withdrawn.
“But the last time…..”
Bringing up your past arguments should strictly be avoided. So, avoid the past issues and concentrate on the present one. If one of the partner constantly keeps bringing up a past issue, it means that the problems hasn’t yet been resolved; and also that he or she hasn’t forgiven the other for his or her shortcomings.
“Then maybe we should get a divorce”
No matter, for how long you have been together in the marital tie, this type of emotional blackmailing results in some long term destructions. When you threaten your partner that you will have to break up with him or her if he or she doesn’t agree with you, it means that you are not in control of your emotions. This in turn has the undesirable effect of your partner doubting whether you really were made for him/her or not. It may, in some extreme conditions, also result in his/her irreversible breakup with you. So, don’t say out something that you never mean. In your anger, don’t bring up separation with your partner.
“I wish you’d be more like…”
When you make comparisons of your partner with someone, it mars his/her self-respect. Besides, they may also do some irreversible damages as they give an idea to your partner that you desire something that he or she cannot give you. Further, comparisons can also make your partner develop an insecure feeling. What is still worse is, he or she may start making comparisons of you with someone else, which may damage your relationship even more, and also make you both emotionally scared. Instead, you should start by appreciating your partner for his or her attributes, and then discussing the reason why he or she should do something in a different way. You should always bear in them that you do not hate your partner, but a character in him or her.
“So what if I don’t do it?”
Every beautiful relationship is a give and take one. It is normal for you to expect certain things from your partner. But when you expect your partner to do something when you don’t do the same to him or her is unfair. This may lead to giving an idea that you are a demanding, frequently nagging, criticizer. You should avoid viewing your partner as someone who is a compensation for your lacks. You should not expect something from him or her that you really can’t by yourself. Showering unconditional love creates a great relationship, and gives more than what it receives.
With those five things that need to be avoided during a fight said, it would be unfair to leave without stating what else can be said. When you truly love someone, winning or losing a fight doesn’t really matter. What really matters is finding out a commonly agreeable solution. So, while at an argument, it is better to just say “I am very angry to talk about it now” or say “Whatever” and walk off calmly.