More women are drawn to individuals of their own gender than men to other men,” opines a team of behavioural and clinical psychologists from Emory University, USA. In fact, lesbianism is much more prevalent among women than homosexuality among men. Researchers have found that almost 70 percent women have bisexual tendencies and their sexual selves are equally divided between men and women. It’s interesting to note that a very large number of women all over the world love to look, if not salivate, at the centerspreads of Playboy, Penthouse and even Hustler.

Many women call themselves straight but look even surreptitiously at nude women, whereas a man, unless he’s a confirmed gay, will never look at a naked man with even a scintilla of lust. Debonair, India’s answer to Playboy,carries genuine requests of female readers for more centre-spreads of naked and semi-naked women. The women say that they get aroused by pictures of naked models. This is indeed strange and the whole phenomenon requires a revamped understanding of women’s psycho-sexual and emotional needs.

Lisa Ray and Sheetal Sheth from I Can't Think Straight movie

Why do women feel spontaneously drawn to other women? Women’s sexuality hinges on a number of complex factors and fears – yes fears as well. Women are biologically more emotional than men. Their sexuality has an emotional side, whereas in men’s case, it’s often purely physical. A woman tends to relate to a man on emotional grounds, whereas for a man, mating’s meeting. Even during sex, man thinks mostly of his pleasure and is least bothered about whether or not a woman’s satiated (in bed). This is the biggest alienating factor.

What Women Want

Kinsey succinctly observed that “men don’t understand that their women want nothing from them, just ‘a post coital hug’ and nothing else. This is the most important thing that acts as glue between a man and a woman. Just after intercourse, a man becomes so insouciant to a woman that she wonders whether he’s the same man who placed her on the highest pedestal during the foreplay.

The loving caresses abruptly end with the very act, leaving a woman emotionally short-changed and physically abused. This doesn’t happen when a woman is with another woman in bed. Both are intrinsically aware of each other’s emotions and can mutually empathize. Greek poetess Sappho (6th century, BC), who was a lesbian, wrote in her poems that only a woman could take care of another woman’s most intimate desires and longings. “They (women) make love as if they’re paying obeisance to god,” is her famous line that prompted English feminist Germaine Greer to say that “men are the lousiest creatures with no bed etiquette.”

Penetration is a myth. It’s meant for procreation. Almost all women want their men to indulge in foreplay because it’s always more desirable to travel than to arrive. Penetration is akin to stabbing; stabbing a woman’s individuality and feminine ego. It’s an assault on her well-guarded privacy and gatecrashing into her sanctum sanctorum. Just read the vivid description of intercourse by Andrea Dworkin: “The thrusting is persistent invasion. She’s opened up, split down the centre. She’s occupied, intrinsically, in her privacy.”

When a woman makes love to a woman, it’s often non-penetrative, therefore less violent, and more lingual. Women often find lack of lingual connectivity during sex with a man. She gets it from a woman.

Moreover, the fear of pregnancy doesn’t exist between two women. This apprehension also plays a vital role in curbing a woman’s cravings and brings her closer to a woman. Lesbianism, especially among older women, is more about emotional anchorage than being sheerly corporeal. It’s an exploration of a woman’s self-hitherto covered with the dust and muck of man’s lust.