The famous Mills and Boons romance series turned 100 in 2008. For eons now, the series has been a global cultural phenomenon, synonymous with excitement and emotional fulfillment. The books reflect changing romance concepts in the real world.

The most memorable and evergreen romances have been Penny Jordan’s Darker Side of Desire and Flora Kidd’s Open Marriage. These authors were experts at sensuality while creating sexual tension and romance. Most of the women grew up reading these romances. And they identified with the heroine, felt her heartache and pined for the extraordinary dark tyrant. They felt the desire of the heroine. There is no logic why most women love these books.

The authors of Mills and Boons were first their reader, that’s why they had a good idea of what to write. In Japan, Mills and Boons has turned to illustrated magna comics. There’s an entire industry — writers, readers, publishers — that makes a fortune selling romance. And Mills and Boons have mastered this art. They know what it takes to write super-charged, sensational, modern-day romances.

There’s an increasing undertone of romance in the approach to life today. Romance is back with a resounding stage whisper. So much so that, according to the latest Romantic Report by Harlequin, the rise of romanticism is going to be the biggest revolution. It seems like the gooey-eyed, rose-tinted and head-in-the clouds sort of romance has yet again sweetly embraced the imagination of multitudes.

Demand for Natural Romance

No wonder then that Marleah Stout, editor of the Romance Report, says, “People want romance that is natural to them, one that eschews clichés and stereotypical expectations. The romance revolution is about feeling comfortable and confident. Romance isn’t necessarily about breaking the bank on dinners or grandiose gifts; it can be picking up a movie on the way home from work, preparing a meal together, or stopping everything to share a dance to your favourite song…!”

Cuddling in the car to watch the sun go down has been voted the most romantic thing for a couple to do. According to a recent survey, more than half the Britons said that sunsets made them frisky. “The range of stunning colours displayed in a sunset can create a feeling of shared calm and happiness,” says noted behavioural expert Dr Judi James. Others choose candle-lit dinners and bubble baths.

All are Simple actions that speak volumes. What’s hot in this return-to-romance season is ordering desserts, sweet text messages, walking the dog together, picnics in the park, personalized candy, daisies, cocktails and jazz, older women and younger men, confidence, goodnight phone calls, holding hands in public, online dating, et al.

The Bard had said, “Love is not love, which alters when it alteration funds.” Sadly for romance and love, quick communication and the new, high-tech gadgets have elbowed out the traditional flowers and chocolates which were the received terms of endearment and ardor. A British psychologist, Dr Adam Johnson of Hertfordshire University, says the love-gifts we traditionally perceive as romantic, fail to impress today’s young men or women. His advice to the lovelorn: “Flowers and chocolates are passé and don’t do it for women any more. Men should make sure they go for the coolest and the shiniest gadgets.”

No wonder then that more and more lovelorn people are turning to technology to fulfill their romantic aspirations. Cellphones and PDAs are great tools to keep the love alive. By sending an impromptu text message in between meetings, you can communicate your tender-most feelings to that special person in your life, without resorting to the predictable grandiose gestures.

However, the considerate male doesn’t shy away now from being supportive of his wife, holding her hand during labour, babysitting, doing domestic chores together or whisking her away for a romantic candlelit experience. The romantic mood is created by lighting, colours, music and themes that are trendy. Instead of trying to be like men, women now assert their inherent strengths by subtly serenading their femininity.

Sheer chiffon and velvet saris have come back in a big way. Words that personify romance find a comeback in today’s stressful times.

No matter what your age, no matter what your gender, here’s some great news. Romance, according to a study conducted by some behavioural scientists, can often be the best nutrient to fight some of our emotional deficiencies.

Say experts, romance is the sensual awareness of things around us. But it is also an awareness of self and a sense of self-worth — the absence of which can be at the heart of several psychological problems. Behavioural scientists differentiate between romance and sentimentality. While sentimentality leaves you confused and depressed, romance excites you and soothes you at the same time. In fact, they suggest that even in the midst of the daily routine, you could court romance. For romance also means an enthusiasm and passion for life. It helps you cope; it helps you heal emotionally.  To be romantic, therefore, is to be emotionally healthy.

According to the American Psychological Society, lifelong romance can actually improve your health. Research shows that people who maintain supportive and caring partnership throughout their lives are less likely to suffer from chronic illnesses in later life. The better the relationship, the higher the levels of intimacy, the better is your health.

But why can’t romance survive a marriage? In fact, why can’t romance last beyond a few years? And, here, romance refers to the quickening of the pulse, fluttering of the heart and a giddy rushing of blood to the head.  Wouldn’t it be fantastic if 30 years into marriage, you look at your husband and your heart stops for a moment before it goes into overdrive, your eyes soften, limbs loosen and palms go clammy?

And the reality: romance is like a drug that gives a high, and you cannot stay on high forever. Various studies around the world have suggested that romantic love lasts anywhere from one to three to seven years — but then fades. Of course, there is no guaranteeing it will not strike again and yet again at different points of life, with other people. Short bursts of splendid moments shared and cherished and then committed to memory.

Maybe, it’s in its momentary intensity that the beauty of romantic love lies. Something that burns high like a flame and then sputters and dies out, leaving behind a sense of warmth and the pain of something lost. Romance isn’t an emotion; it’s a feeling. And feelings are temporal; they come and go. They may excite and engage for the time being but cannot last a lifetime. It’s steady, stable love that’s the emotion that can last a lifetime and as some would say, beyond.

Romance is transient and it is this very transience that makes it heady. The quick rocketing of emotion perhaps has inbuilt in it the eventuality of the fizzle-out. This could happen once you possess a loved one or are under the stress of daily living. Romance just cannot thrive within a structured confinement; it must be given its head. And that’s how marriage, a live-in relationship or an extremely possessive attitude can kill it.

Interestingly, romance is now just bursting out of the closet. Even Bollywood, known for its reticent, hesitant and media-shy lover boys and lover girls, is now leading the pack where romance is concerned. Everyday romance is being redefined.

No one is ashamed to ask for romance. The new romantics want romance that’s accessible and real. The kind of romance that complements their personal style and comfort level  and which is why even unconventional romances are now not looked at askance.